Obligatory New Year Ruminations

It would seem it is time for ONYR. However, I haven't done much thinking on the new year, and I have ambivalent feelings about posting personal information. Poetry is personal, but somehow I have become comfortable with sharing it. I guess because I believe (on good days) it has value and its own little life that can be nurtured, apart from me, my fears and my ambitions. It's funny, I enjoy reading the "class notes" from my college classmates, but I have never written in. Although I enjoy reading them, I can't imagine anyone is interested in what I'm doing. And no one ever writes in when they're depressed or unemployed or breaking up with their partner. Although I have a few things to brag about, I'm not really comfortable writing the typical class note: Hi everyone! My husband, Joe Perfect (class of 95) and I are pleased to announce the birth of our first child: Angel Charmed-Life. Joe just received his PhD and has been nominated for the Nobel Prize. My second book was published to rave reviews. Next year we are moving overseas and will spend 2007 de-worming orphans in Somalia.

Oh, bless the Liberals and the liberal-arts majors. I may sound bitter, but it's that edge that gives me my je ne se quois (when you figure out what it is, let me know). Not that I feel pessimistic about 2007. I don't. I feel rather positive. 2006 was good to me. I guess I just need to put my ambivalence on the page...er, in the form.

ONYR: I enjoy my living situation. I have two wonderful roommates. It's not always easy to live together, but I often feel lucky to have them in my life. My car was stolen last January, but I got it back 4 days later, with relatively little damage, considering. I have a good job, with people who appreciate me, and work that challenges me. Both my parents are doing well and live within 20 miles from me. I have money saved and feel comfortable financially. I am learning to treat myself and treat myself better. I have community, groups of people I enjoy and who seem to enjoy me: poetry, chorus, vanpool, work. I am dating a nice man who makes me feel good. I've had some modest success with poetry. My cat is healthy, and so am I. I feel strong. I'm working out again (although not lately). I did something new and worked with a personal trainer, gained strength and energy. I have friends I don't get to see much anymore as they live in Ohio and other places; this is disappointing, but they are still a bright spot in my life. And (drumroll, please)...I went to Ireland for 3 weeks and had a fabulous time. I feel stronger and braver for the experience. And I have been inspired--I am going to the Czech Repulic in 2007! I am making it happen. So life is good.

I still feel lonely in groups of people sometimes, and content to be alone sometimes. I still have many unfulfilled desires, crabbiness, boredom, experience monotony, yearn for change, fear change, feel angry, can't let go, feel sad, make mistakes, forget to be kind, eventually get sick of the rain and fed up with winter (usually in January), complain (see above), give up, fall short of my expectations, hurt others, continue bad habits. I guess I am human.